Salam Maal Hijrah 1431H

Salam Maal Hijrah to all.

Life has to go on and it will go on, until my last breath.

My grief for the loss of my father, my baby and my mother are under control now.  I lost three of them within six month period this year.  Death is inevitable.  I accepted that.

I trust in Allah.  HE knows what’s best for me….

InsyaAllah, tonight I want to be under the wings of millions of angels besides thousands of people.  I need the energy from them.  To start a new year doing something good makes me feels good and secure inside.  May Allah is always with me throughout my journey in this life….

It’s Fated

The tiny little thing called love did not emerge at all.  It has left me.  It’s fated that it’s not meant to be mine.   I accepted the fact with open heart and open mind that it’s gone now.

I feel the lost.  I feel the hurt.  I feel the pain.

But I know Allah has better plans for me.  I know Allah never burden me with something that I could not bear to handle.  I know Allah is with me.

My pray is that my tiny little love will wait for me….somewhere….. :’(

Protected: My Plight

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It’s Hiding

The tiny little thing called love, is hiding itself at the moment.  I pray hard that it will emerge soon, to spread its blessing all around.

Only ALLAH knows…..

The Feeling

I felt really troubled today, the burdens are a bit too much for me to carry alone.

I cried hard.

As always, he’s there for me, with his shoulder for me to cry on, and sharing the load.

How can I not love him?

Silence

When face to face, when eyes met, when physical touch became rigid, when words did not come out right, when voices were raised, when no warmth was felt, when heart bleeds till now…..

Then silence was the best and the only solution.

Physically the body might be present, but the soul and heart were wandering somewhere else, trying hard wanting to escape, yearning to bring the body to somewhere peaceful.

May Allah forgives…

All I Did Was…Asked

“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor).” ~ Al-Baqarah : 186

I asked Allah to open the path, lighten my burden and make things easier for me.

The next thing I knew, I had a few good solutions for me to choose from.

I asked Allah to take away the law that created by humans which was imposed on me.

The next thing I knew, I was free from bearing that responsibility.

When I use my brain to think of a solution, it might come late or would not work at all.

But when I simply had a sincere conversation with HIM, begged for HIS mercy, poured out my feelings and confident that Allah will gives the solutions, HE managed everything for me.

There’s no other beautiful words to express my gratitude to HIM, except Alhamdulillah….. Alhamdulillah….. Alhamdulilah.

Blissful

Alhamdulillah.

Twelve years of blissful marriage. 

Three beautiful children.

A place to call a home.

Hearty lunch for the five of us.  Couple date at night.

Truly

I am deeply and truly amazed by you.

Your patience, your inner strength, your faith, your love.

MasyaAllah.

The Wonderful People In My Life

I am enourmously thankful and grateful for the blessings bestowed to me.

I am bless with a caring and loving Hubby.

I am bless with three beautiful children.

I am bless with wonderful in-laws.

Ummi, Abah and my brother-in-law.

Affandy and his uncle share the same birthdate.  My in-laws gathered at my house specially to celebrate their birthday, in advance.  Just a simple celebration and du’a recited by Abah.

The conversations, the laughter, the warmth, the love and respect for one another.  They are my family.  They are my life.