Protected: Not Mine

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Life Goes On

It’s been a week since I was tested with the lost of my tiny little love.  Alhamdulilllah, I could overcome those difficult time.  I still ponder and still feel the lost, but I also know that my life have to go on.

Allah has been kind to me.  I don’t know what I did to deserve that.  And I am so grateful for that.  Some of my responsibilities have been lighten as I have a helper now at home.  It may be temporary or permanent.  At least, for now I can breathe a little easier than before.

I am so looking forward to attend my classes.  I missed some of them due to the unforeseen circumstances.  The pearls from my Ustaz hafizullah, somehow heal my soul.

I accepted the examinations results of my children with open heart and open mind.  I know they had done their very best.  They might not be the top student, but I am grateful that they are not far behind.  I know they can do better in the near future.   Insya’Allah….

It’s Fated

The tiny little thing called love did not emerge at all.  It has left me.  It’s fated that it’s not meant to be mine.   I accepted the fact with open heart and open mind that it’s gone now.

I feel the lost.  I feel the hurt.  I feel the pain.

But I know Allah has better plans for me.  I know Allah never burden me with something that I could not bear to handle.  I know Allah is with me.

My pray is that my tiny little love will wait for me….somewhere….. :’(

Protected: My Plight

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It’s Hiding

The tiny little thing called love, is hiding itself at the moment.  I pray hard that it will emerge soon, to spread its blessing all around.

Only ALLAH knows…..

Here And There

I almost forgot that I have a blog to update.

I am done with my visiting for Hari Raya.  This year is the most simplest Raya that I ever had.  No new clothes for us and I did not bake anything.  I visited very limited relatives as most of them I’ve met on the first day of  Raya.

As days goes by, my responsibilities grow.  I have so many things to handle and I need lots of strength and motivation to cope.  Seriously, I’m mentally exhausted.  At times, I wish that all those things that I need to do will just disappear.  Too much for me to handle.  But I can’t run away from reality.  What needs to be done, has to be done.

For me, October is the month of stress, as my children will have their final examination coming soon.  I’m learning hard to be more relax and let them do their best.  But I just can’t help to feel anxious.

As I’m typing this, I can barely open my eyes.  Lately I’ve been so lethargic and I just want to lie down. Hubby has been so helpful lately and I’m grateful that he understands me better than anyone in this world.

I pray that Allah makes everything easier for me,  lighten my burdens and smoothen my journey towards HIM….

I Got It

I got the message.  It’s never my intention to break the relationship.  Never.  But I can’t say on your part.  I’ll still remain as what I am.

Thank you for the friendship so far.  Forgive me.  May Allah bless you.

The Feeling

I felt really troubled today, the burdens are a bit too much for me to carry alone.

I cried hard.

As always, he’s there for me, with his shoulder for me to cry on, and sharing the load.

How can I not love him?

So Not Ready

I am so not ready to face Syawal.  I wish Ramadhan to be extended.

Seriously I have prepared nothing for the coming Raya.  I have no intention to bake any cookies or cakes this year.  No new clothes and  no new shoes for my whole family.

The only thing we bought was some cookies from JB.  We bought that in order to motivate our children to fast full day.  They will get to eat the colourful cookies at the end of Ramadhan.  Not sure if the cookies can last till the month of Raya though.  And I’m not sure of the taste and quality also.

I am beaming with pride as both Afiqah and Affandy now can fast full day.  The first week of Ramadhan was hard for them, but came to the second week, I can see that they enjoyed fasting.  Affandy no longer asked for food in the day.  He simply took a nap when he’s feeling hungry.  I am confident that both of them can fast full day till end of Ramadhan.

All my three children also can perform 8 raka’ats of terawih and 3 raka’ats of witir.  So far they have not complained of sleepy or tired.  Alhamdulillah for all that.

I also do not know where my family and relatives will gather on the first day of Syawal.  Presently I have lots of personal things to settle and I do not want to bother myself with all the  unnecessary  issues.

Now I only want to savour the last few days of Ramadhan.  Nothing else matters.

Peace

Love it when these two are in good terms.  My “should-have-been-twins” sharing the laptop.  No squabbles, no bickering.  Occasionally little giggles were heard.

And I have my peace……